


Just Breathe

by CMSaints



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, The Grove, no sanctuary, time meld
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 13:13:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9442163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CMSaints/pseuds/CMSaints
Summary: She stood for a moment, just watching them. Counting heads and learning new faces. The relief at finding them all whole was palpable. Finding him whole almost brought her to her knees.Written for the nine lives what if/fix it challenge. Carol finds the group after Terminus and brings them back to the grove.





	

Disclaimer: I don't own them!

 

The solid weight of the bow on her back kept her grounded. It may have been the only thing keeping her sane at this point. She tried not to think of the carnage she just caused, but really, the evidence was all over her. Leaning against a tree, she stopped to brace her hands on her knees and drew deep, ragged breaths. _Now is not the time for a melt-down,_ she reminded herself. _They’re still out there. And you need to find them._ She allowed herself two more breaths before straightening. The poncho had to go. She couldn’t go one more step with the stench of death all around her. The smear of black and red across the bark of the tree a stark reminder that everything she touches becomes tainted.  Grimacing, she pulled the blood-soaked cloth from her body. Gathering her family’s possessions once again, she wearily started again in the direction she saw them flee. She would find them. She would lead them back to where the others waited. Then she would walk away. _Even if it kills me._

*

She stood for a moment, just watching them. Counting heads and learning new faces. The relief at finding them all whole was palpable. Finding _him_ whole almost brought her to her knees.  Instead she staggered forward, making sure to make enough noise to alert them to her presence. It was Daryl who turned first, recognition lighting up his face before he rushed towards her. She let the weapons slide to the floor so she could embrace him, not fully prepared for the emotions that would overwhelm them both. He held her tightly, almost as if he was afraid to let her go. His head buried in the crook of her neck; she felt him shake with silent sobs.  Her own tears made her vision blurry as she stepped back, smoothing her hands up and down his arms. A hundred emotions were in his eyes as he struggled to find the words he felt she needed to hear.  She didn’t need words.  Not from him.  Reaching up, Carol gently framed his face in her hands, bringing him closer. His breath hitched as their foreheads rested against one another.  Closing her eyes, she took a minute to just _be._ She heard him take a shuddered breath before she felt his thumb brushing a stray tear off her cheek.  A throat cleared from somewhere behind them and her eyes flew open. She had completely forgotten that they weren’t alone. That it wasn’t just Daryl she was reuniting with. Daryl moved his hands down to her waist, the smallest of caresses, before stepping back completely to give the others their time with her. He picked up his cross-bow and slung it across his shoulder.  Not ready to have her out of his sight, he hovered close by. Watching with narrowed eyes as Rick advanced towards her.

Anxiety settles in her core as she watches him approach.  Rick wasn’t the enemy, but he sure as hell wasn’t her friend either. The last time they spoke he called her a cold-blooded murderer.  Recent events most likely had not changed his mind.  She told herself that it didn’t matter what he had to say.  She would leave, but this time it would be on her terms.  Drawing strength from Daryl’s solid presence at her back, she straightened her spine; waited.

“Was that you?” he asked in astonishment.  Giving him a slight nod in response, she mentally prepared for his judgement. For banishment . Again. The last thing she expected was for Rick to pull her forward, crushing her in a tight embrace.  “Thank you.” He whispered over and over into her hair. His voice cracked with emotion as he pulled back, looking into her eyes. “I’m sorry. I-I never should have…” He shook his head, shifting his gaze to the ground.  “I’m _sorry_ , Carol.” She couldn’t find it in her to tell him all was forgiven.  She didn’t know if she could ever truly forgive him for what he took from her.  But if it meant staying with her family….with _Daryl_ , then she could at least try.  Patting Rick’s arm awkwardly, she turned to address the rest of the group. “You all need to come with me.”

*

 

If they kept to the tracks, she told them, they would reach the little homestead in a few hours.  They were wary of being so out in the open, but they didn’t have much choice.  It was the only way. They were silent on their journey; exhaustion and self-preservation preventing them from even whispered conversations.  The atmosphere changed, however, when they were able to leave the tracks behind and veer off into the thick coverage of the woods. It felt lighter. Each step that brought them farther away from Terminus made it that much easier to breathe. So when the group splintered off into smaller pockets of twos and threes, no one gave it much thought. They were still cautious, always had to be, but the need for stealth was behind them. 

Carl had come up to walk beside her and Daryl, clearly wanting to ask a million questions, but unsure of how to begin.  “Spit it out already, kid” Daryl huffed in agitation. Carol lightly bumped his shoulder with her own in reprimand. “Carl? Did you want to ask us something?” He looked quickly between the two and then back to his father, who trailed a few feet behind them. “Well. I was just wondering how you knew we were there; at Terminus.  Dad said you had left the prison before the attack.  How did you know that we needed help?” She sighed, wondering how much detail she should go into. Deciding to bypass the prison statement, because she knew that was a topic better left untouched, especially when she can all but feel the tension radiating off of Daryl in waves. Instead, she started at the beginning of her day.

She was on a run. Sick of pecans and dandelions, she went out in search of any food she could find. Hunting had never been her forte, so she was hoping to come across a few houses she could scavenge. “M’ gonna teach ya to hunt.” Daryl interrupted. “Shoulda done it a long time ago.” She shakes her head, but smiles warmly at him while she continues. A few miles into her trek, she came across a man setting off fireworks in a small clearing. He was speaking to someone over a walkie-talkie. She thought he was out of his mind, making all that noise. She was just about to ease back when she overheard him talking about ‘the chick with the sword’ and ‘the kid in the hat’. The more she heard, the sicker she felt. These people had her family. And they wanted to _eat_ _them._ She couldn’t take any chances that he would escape. So, she did the only thing she could do. What she _needed_ to do.

She slanted her eyes towards Rick, surprised when all she saw there was approval. _Funny how a little perspective changes everything._ “And so, I followed the tracks. Used the fireworks to my advantage.  Took out as many of them as I could. But I couldn’t find you. Instead, I found a storage room. There were piles of weapons, jewelry, _toys._ I saw Ricks watch; Daryl’s bow. I thought ‘ _Oh God, what if I’m too late?’_ I went a little…never mind. That’s not important.” Carol laughed, without humor, as she kneaded the back of her neck. “What is important is that I did find you. Saw you go over the fence and I tracked you through the woods. And here we are.” Carl nodded, fidgeting with the knife sheath on his belt. “We wouldn’t have made it out of there without you, you know.” He risked a quick glance at Daryl before training his eyes back in front of him. “Not all of us, at least.” Pulling him close as they walked, she kissed his hair, rubbing a soothing hand up and down his arm. She didn’t want to think about how close they’ve come to loosing each other.  “Well, we’re all together now.” For now at least.

*

They were almost there. She could almost smell the roasting pecans. Thinking of the girls, Carol sighed. She was growing to love them like they were her own.  It was a problem. Mika reminded her so much of Sophia. She was sweet and trusted too easily. The young girl didn’t have it in her to adjust her moral compass as this new world demanded.  Lizzie, on the other hand, seemed like she no longer had one.  With no concept of right and wrong, or even, life and death, every day was a battle.  Carol couldn’t fault her for it, she was just a child. But would the others? You only have to spend a small amount of time with her to realize she was unstable and getting worse each day. She could just take Lizzie and go. It’s what she _should_ do. Mika would be left under Daryl’s protection. He would take care of her; she knew it without a doubt.  Leaving him again would destroy her, but what choice did she have? As they stepped into the meadow of wildflowers, she reached over and grabbed his hand, linking their fingers. He looked down at their joined hands, perplexed. “ You a’right?” he asked. Carol gave a sad smile before bringing their hands up, placing a soft kiss on his knuckles. “Gotta be.” Maybe she could wait a few more days.  

*

 _Something is wrong._  As they near the rickety fence, a loud wailing could be heard coming from inside the house. Judith rarely cries. And if she does, there’s always someone right there to soothe her. A strangled whimper escapes Rick’s throat as he stops short. Hope and disbelief etched into his features, he grabs Carol by the shoulders. “Is that? Do you have Judy?” She barely nods before father and son race towards the house in search of the child they thought they had lost. _But something is wrong. Why is she crying for so long?_ Dread curls in her stomach, overwhelming her. Her hand shook as she released her knife from its sheath. She’s running across the yard before her mind could process that she’d even taken a step. Dimly, she hears Daryl yelling after her to stop, wait. She does, but only after she crosses the threshold and the silence is deafening.

“Hey.” Speaking softly, Daryl comes up behind her. He gently takes her by the waist, pulling her back so he could reposition himself in front of her. His own knife drawn, he moves slowly into the room. “Rick.” He called, motioning for Carol to follow him. “We’re in here.” The reply was immediate, but his voice was dark and foreboding. Whatever they were about to walk into, she wouldn’t be prepared for it.

The small living room was just how she left it early this morning. A few dolls were strewn across the floor where Mika had been playing the night before. Puzzle pieces and pecans littered the coffee table. Judith’s make-shift crib stood in the middle of the room. It seemed like nothing was out of place. Then she noticed the dark blood streaks staining the old wooden floor, leading into the kitchen. Rick moved into her field of vision, bouncing a dozing Judith in his arms. “Carol. I think maybe you should sit down.” He said gently, motioning to one of the chairs.  “No. I need to. Where are the girls?” She scanned the room again, this time registering that Tyreese was sitting on the couch, his arm curling protectively over his middle. “Ty? Where are the girls?” her voice waivered.  She already knew the answer.

Sasha was already on the couch next to her brother, gently lifting up his shirt to reveal the fatal knife wound. Already grieving, the younger women shed silent tears as she rested her forehead against the side of his face. “I went to the well.” He explained, wincing as he shifted on the couch. “Told the girls to stay inside with Judith; keep each other safe. I wasn’t gone for more than ten minutes.” He pushes his sister’s hand away as she tries to reapply pressure. “When I get back, Mika’s on the floor. She’s already gone.” Carol feels the blood drain from her own body as she sags back against Daryl. _Not again. Not another one._ “Lizzie was standing over her body, her knife covered in blood. She said it was ok, that Mika would come back. She had to show us, and we just had to wait.” Daryl went with her as she sank to the floor; arms curled around her, his head pressed between her shoulder blades. It was Sophia all over again. “She wanted to make Judith come back too. I couldn’t let her hurt the baby. I _had_ to stop her. I never should’ve left them alone. It’s my fault.” Sasha hushed him, murmuring to him softly. “It’s not your fault, Ty. Its ok, rest now.” The silence was truly deafening as Carol wept into the crook of Daryl’s arm and Tyreese took his final labored breaths.

*

Carol stood in the meadow full of wildflowers, overlooking the three fresh graves. The survivors would move on in the morning; grief too thick within the walls to consider staying for much longer. They held a small service for their loved ones, Rick reading from a Bible they found tucked in a bedside drawer. She couldn’t bring herself to go back inside. Daryl stood on her left, silently offering her his support. While they watched the sea of yellows, purples and blues dance in the wind, he linked their fingers together. She leaned her head against his shoulder, closed her eyes and just breathed.

      


End file.
